1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,002
[opening theme music playing]

2
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:19,352
See these, America?

3
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:22,480
Four ringside seats
to Hutchinson and Turner fight

4
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:23,898
in Vegas tonight.

5
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,817
Surprise gift from the fellas.

6
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:26,901
Yes, sir.

7
00:00:26,985 --> 00:00:31,614
Me and the boys hitting the fight,
the casinos, the strip club. Ahem.

8
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,200
I don't care what you think,
America, and I'm ready.

9
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,411
I've been ready ever since
I missed last year's trip

10
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,955
on account of those sick
nasty germy little kids.

11
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,876
See, last year I gave Bryana
a birthday party and influenza.

12
00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,545
But trust me, this year,
ain't nothing ruining it.

13
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:48,214
Me and the boys
are taking the noon flight. Ha!

14
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,593
That's right, and I don't plan
on spending not one second more

15
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,969
with those doggone kids.

16
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:55,805
So come on in, flu. Chicken pox.

17
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,392
Flesh-eating disease,
ringworms, I don't care.

18
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,561
Whatever you got, bring it on.

19
00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:05,106
Take your best shot,
'cause Bernie Mac going to Vegas,

20
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,693
and nothing, I mean nothing,
is going to stop me.

21
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,696
Come on, now, Wanda.
You promised you take them.

22
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,657
I'm sorry. I have a special
presentation to make for work.

23
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:16,367
Come on. These things come up.

24
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,952
Fine, they won't go.

25
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:21,122
That's not fair. You guys promised
you'd take us to the movies!

26
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,624
Got it in writing?

27
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,959
Come on, sweetheart.
You got to be there?

28
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:28,046
Well, considering
it's a $30 million account

29
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,006
on which I happen to be
project manager,

30
00:01:30,089 --> 00:01:31,800
yeah, I guess I do.

31
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,968
But, baby, it's Vegas.

32
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,346
I might win $30 million,
then we'll be even.

33
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,473
See? It's starting.

34
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,684
Dark forces conspiring to ruin my trip,
but it ain't going to work.

35
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,353
I spoke to the fellas
and they're cool.

36
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,814
So I'm going to take them evil kids
to see the first show

37
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,524
and then get 'em back home, feed them.

38
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,400
And the second my baby
walk through the door,

39
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:50,610
I'm a memory, America.

40
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:54,572
I'm gone, went, I'm out of here,
86, got my hat.

41
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,158
I want to see Jake Fury: Fists of Iron.

42
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,536
I want to go to Vegas,
but if I suffer, you suffer.

43
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:02,455
There is no way I'm seeing
some G-rated movie.

44
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,499
I can't stop you from
closing your eyes, okay?

45
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:08,002
Three kids for Field Goal Kicking Mule,
and one for Bloody Dead 3.

46
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,921
How come you get to see
what you want to see?

47
00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:11,464
Shut up or be Bloody Dead 4.

48
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,091
Go on in there.

49
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:15,593
-[Vanessa scoffs]
-Don't get caught doing that.

50
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,138
[arcade games beeping]

51
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,598
-Oh, hey, there's Vanessa.
-Hi!

52
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,608
Come on. Come on.
Get in there.

53
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:31,901
Baby girl.

54
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,194
Watch them!

55
00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:45,456
Mm-mm, mm-mm.

56
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:46,583
Don't go in there.

57
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,876
This some hell naw.

58
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,545
How many people go in the cemetery
after a radiation leak?

59
00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,171
You know there's zombies in there.

60
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,256
Shh.

61
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,552
-[all gasping]
-[woman screaming on screen]

62
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,095
I told you.

63
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,221
Didn't I say it?

64
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,098
Didn't I tell you, "Shh"?

65
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:03,433
This some hell naw.

66
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,435
-[woman continues screaming]
-[zombie growling]

67
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:06,936
[man on screen]
Another field goal!

68
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:07,854
[boings]

69
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,899
Man, this is crap.

70
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,567
I can't take it anymore.

71
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,153
Hey, you stay here and watch Bryana.

72
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,448
[Jordan sighing]

73
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,116
I don't want to stay here either.

74
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:21,576
I hate mules.

75
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:23,453
[distant exploding]

76
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,876
-[distant men yelling]
-Jake Fury: Fists of Iron.

77
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:33,588
Okay, you stay here
and watch the movie, okay?

78
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,798
-[mule braying]
-Isn't the mule funny? [chuckles]

79
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:39,802
Heehaw, heehaw.

80
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,806
So, hey, what do you
think of Todd Miller?

81
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,309
He is so cute. Why?

82
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,519
'Cause he's coming this way.

83
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,313
-Hey, Vanessa.
-Hey.

84
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,106
-Donna.
-Hey.

85
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:54,359
So, you guys going
to Aaron's party tonight?

86
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:55,818
Yeah. You?

87
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:57,278
Yeah.

88
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,618
[machine guns and explosion]

89
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,536
[man on screen]
Looks like we're surrounded.

90
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,039
It's time to pull out
the big guns!

91
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,292
Whoa!

92
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:13,044
This is a great movie.

93
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,712
[gunshots]

94
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,047
[exploding]

95
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:18,675
Vanessa, look.
He keeps checking you out.

96
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,552
[both giggling]

97
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:24,597
Ooh.

98
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,432
[giggling]

99
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:27,684
[woman on screen screams]

100
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,894
Man, that's one hungry zombie.
Look at it. I love it.

101
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,271
[Bryana]
Uncle Bernie?

102
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,438
[shouting]

103
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,648
Chew on his ass.

104
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,525
Uncle Bernie?

105
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,110
[shouting]

106
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,486
Uncle Bernie!

107
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:40,113
Baby girl, baby girl.

108
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:41,197
Don't look at it.

109
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,365
What you doing here?

110
00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:45,994
-They abandoned me, Uncle Bernie.
-Come on, come on. Come on.

111
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,955
[screaming]

112
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:52,417
They better have a good doggone reason
for leaving baby girl.

113
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,751
A good reason.

114
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:55,044
Baby girl, popcorn.

115
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:57,255
A good reason.

116
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,882
[exploding]

117
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,093
[quietly] Jordan?

118
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,386
Jordan?

119
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,847
-[man 1] Be quiet!
-Jordan?

120
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:06,931
-[shushing]
-Come on…

121
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,642
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-[man 2] Come on man, sit down.

122
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,727
Jordan.

123
00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,189
-Jordan.
-[men] Shh.

124
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,775
[woman on screen]
Jake, you saved my life.

125
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,611
-Excuse me.
-I can think of only one way to repay you.

126
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:21,946
It's time to pull out…

127
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,156
-Ow!
-You know better.

128
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,240
[unzipping on screen]

129
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,491
Whoa, boobies.

130
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,702
Man, that's nice.

131
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:29,162
Real nice.

132
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:30,455
Do you think those are real?

133
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:33,291
-Man, there ain't nothing fake…
-Ahh, ow!

134
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,043
Ow, my face.

135
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,086
-Get up.
-Ow, my face.

136
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,838
Ow…

137
00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:41,132
-Uncle Bernie!
-Quiet.

138
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,301
Go on.

139
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,262
That was cool.

140
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:47,722
Oh, I'm dead.

141
00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:49,640
You know you're dead,
don't you?

142
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,517
I told you to watch
your brother and sister.

143
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,685
You couldn't even do that.

144
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:55,313
She ended up sitting next to me
watching the most gruesome movie

145
00:05:55,396 --> 00:05:57,440
and this young freak,
he sittin' up there watching--

146
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,233
Boobies. Big ones.

147
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,777
Real live boobies.

148
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,153
Jordan, will you shut up?

149
00:06:02,236 --> 00:06:04,072
You're just jealous
'cause you ain't got none.

150
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,698
♪ You ain't got no boobies ♪

151
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:06,949
Jordan, shut up!

152
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,785
Jordan, I hope you got a good memory

153
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,996
'cause that's the last pair
you're ever going to see. Let's go.

154
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,122
Nessa!

155
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:15,875
Damn kids.

156
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:18,252
Made me miss Vegas for this.

157
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,296
I should have put them
in a kennel for the day.

158
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,965
[imitating Jordan] "I saw boobies."
[chuckling]

159
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,801
America, I'm…

160
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,221
Yeah, Chuy, man, my fault, man.

161
00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:29,305
I'm sorry, man.

162
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,390
I should have never gave in
to no doggone kids.

163
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:35,770
But dig, as soon as Wanda get in, man,
I'll call you and we'll bounce, hear?

164
00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,188
Hi-yah!

165
00:06:37,271 --> 00:06:41,400
I am Jake Fury
and I have fists of iron!

166
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,569
You want to see how Jake kicks?

167
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,654
Hi-yah!

168
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,155
Ow! Ow!

169
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,574
My shoulder! [sobs]

170
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,909
Ow…

171
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,244
Boy, what's wrong with you?

172
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:54,330
My shoulder! Ow!

173
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,125
-That hurt?
-Don't touch it! Ow!

174
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,252
Chuy, this boy done separated
his doggone shoulder.

175
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,712
Listen, y'all go head on, man,
I'll catch up with you, okay?

176
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,048
I can't breathe it hurts so bad.

177
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,967
See, that's what you get
for watching things

178
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:09,011
you got no business watching.
Now I got to take you to the hospital.

179
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,681
-Ah, don't touch it! [cries]
-Shut up.

180
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,229
-[indistinct chatter]
-[distant sirens]

181
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,607
This hospital for the poor, man.

182
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,401
They got one doctor.
This is ridiculous.

183
00:07:23,484 --> 00:07:25,153
Don't make no doggone sense, man.

184
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,363
-Mr. Mayser?
-Yeah, right here.

185
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,240
Ho, ho, ho, ho, wait, man.
He just got here.

186
00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:31,325
We've been here for three hours.
What's going on?

187
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,869
Sir, Mr. Mayser
has chest pains.

188
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,912
Why you got to say, like,
"He got chest pains"?

189
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,123
You better find
something wrong with you real quick.

190
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,791
-Get some chest pains or something.
-Ow!

191
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,960
If I miss this flight,
we're going to be on the news.

192
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,712
I'm not, but, you… Woo.

193
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,631
I was so embarrassed.

194
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,216
Did they say anything?

195
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,844
I don't care what Freddie said.

196
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,679
Did Todd say anything?

197
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,099
What? No, Jordan is not funny…

198
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,435
Hey, Vanessa, where are they?

199
00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:00,521
Hey, baby, I… I left
as soon as I got your message.

200
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,274
I'm so glad you're here.
The boy's a little hungry,

201
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,359
needs something to eat.
I got to catch a flight.

202
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,361
I'm out this hot dog stand,
leaving the mustard.

203
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,906
-Uh, uh, baby.
-Come on. I ain't no doctor.

204
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,949
Ain't nothing I can do
for the boy's shoulder.

205
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,367
Come on. Let me live, baby.

206
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,369
Baby, he needs your moral support.

207
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,163
The boys already landed in Sin City.

208
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,623
Come on, Wanda. Let me go…

209
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,333
Baby, come on now!

210
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,336
If you were a little thicker,
a little taller

211
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,213
about right up in here, penalty.

212
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,506
I'll let you.

213
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,299
Go ahead and walk it off.

214
00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:30,927
-You okay?
-Ow…

215
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,345
I know, I know.

216
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,180
-Ow! Don't touch it!
-Okay, okay, hey, baby.

217
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,557
-Ow!
-I know.

218
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,977
Oh, baby, this some bull.
I'm out of here. I'm getting out of here.

219
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,187
No, don't go.

220
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:43,648
Hold on. The doctor's here.
You're in good hands now.

221
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,108
Actually, I'm just here
to take him to X-ray.

222
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,193
Where you taking me?

223
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:48,903
Uncle Bernie,
he's taking me somewhere!

224
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,864
-Calm down, Jordan.
-Help! [gasping]

225
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,158
Doctor, Doctor, he's faking.
I know when he's faking.

226
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,660
I get him to do that all the time.

227
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:58,120
When I want to get out of dinner
with the Richters, I…

228
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,915
You are lucky we are
in an emergency room.

229
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:02,750
[Jordan choking, gasping]

230
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,795
Knock it off, Jordan. Knock it off
before I knock it off for you!

231
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,172
Son, you can tell me.

232
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,840
How did you really
hurt your shoulder?

233
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,968
What do you mean
by that, man?

234
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,177
Hey.

235
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,433
Look, Jordan, I… I'm gonna
go to X-ray with you, okay?

236
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:23,437
-Thank you, Uncle Bernie.
-Okay.

237
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:24,939
-I'm so scared.
-I'll be back, babe…

238
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,191
-Don't be scared. I'll be back, okay?
-[Jordan screams]

239
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,276
Come on, shh.

240
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,528
That sneaky little…

241
00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:33,281
America, you see how he tried
to blackmail me?

242
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:35,199
Whining, wheezing weasel.

243
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,326
All he did was separate his shoulder.

244
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,203
It's not like he needs stem cells.

245
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,248
Now I'm missing out on
free drinks and bad lounge music.

246
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:43,457
[music stops]

247
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,251
I mean, no… no offense.

248
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,129
No… no…

249
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,506
-Thank you.
-Yeah.

250
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,676
[music resumes playing]

251
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,139
-Aunt Wanda?
-Mm?

252
00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,515
Can I ask you a question?

253
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,808
Sure, sweetie, what is it?

254
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:06,397
How old were you when you… changed?

255
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:07,690
Changed?

256
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:12,612
Vanessa, you've already
had your "friend."

257
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:13,779
No, no.

258
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,157
The other… change.

259
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,702
Oh.

260
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,454
You mean when did I blossom?

261
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:26,959
Yeah, 'cause I sort of haven't,
and a lot of the other girls have.

262
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:30,671
And there was this party that I really
wanted to go to tonight, but--

263
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,256
You feel self-conscious?

264
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:34,258
Hmm.

265
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:38,012
Well, there's no escaping 14.

266
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,432
Every girl goes through something.

267
00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:43,351
For me, it was
actually the opposite.

268
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:47,229
I was the first one to develop,
and I was a stick with boobs.

269
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,565
Ooh, do you know
how that made me feel?

270
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,108
Popular?

271
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,444
Uh, no, that would be 16,
when the rest of me filled out.

272
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,528
[laughing]

273
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:57,782
But 14, I remember
it was hell.

274
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,785
I was self-conscious.

275
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:02,536
I was embarrassed.

276
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:05,748
And when they first
came in, oh, they hurt.

277
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:07,541
So, what did you do?

278
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,085
I accepted it.

279
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,961
And I went to parties.

280
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,129
Like you will.

281
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,256
Look, they have free candy here.

282
00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,134
Don't make no doggone sense.

283
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,178
I'm sitting up here, they gonna tell me

284
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,597
they ain't got
no doggone doctors all up in…

285
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:22,807
I'll be doggone.

286
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:25,726
No wonder they ain't got no doctors.
They all in the same doggone room.

287
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:27,186
Hey, hey! Come on, man!

288
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:30,398
I got a shoulder I'm dealing with, man
and a flight to catch to Sin City.

289
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,483
Come on, man.
I got ringside seats.

290
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,235
Five hours, America.

291
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,862
Five hours I lost
to that damn hospital.

292
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,739
The boy just had a dislocated shoulder.

293
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,658
Finally, I did get a doctor.

294
00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:43,577
I mean, it took two seconds
and one good shove to relocate it.

295
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,287
I could've done that hours ago.

296
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,790
Well, America, that's it.

297
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,417
I've done my duty.

298
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,253
Jordan and baby girl are exhausted in bed,

299
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:55,631
and I'm gonna drop Nessa off at the party
en route to the airport.

300
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:59,176
And then, and only then,
I'm off the clock.

301
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:02,346
[chuckles] I'm going to Vegas.
I'm gonna have me a good time.

302
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,973
I'm gonna take in a couple of shows.

303
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,307
Who can I see?

304
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:07,476
My boy Don Rickles is there.

305
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,311
Don, I'm comin', baby!

306
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:13,023
[upbeat music playing]

307
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,485
All right, Nessa.
Come on. I'm in a hurry. I've got to go.

308
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,070
You in or out?
What you gonna do?

309
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,697
[sighs] Fine.

310
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,115
Have fun on your trip.

311
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,200
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

312
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,119
-Come on. Close the door.
-[door closes]

313
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,537
I can't let you go like that.

314
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:29,373
Look, Nessa, Aunt Wanda
told me about your problem.

315
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,709
She told me about this
whole puberty thing.

316
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:32,835
I don't mean it like that.

317
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:36,046
Your mama had a board chest
all the way up till she was 24 years old.

318
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,798
-What?
-They used to call her "Mister."

319
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,300
What I'm trying to say

320
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,469
is, baby, some people develop
quicker than others.

321
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,141
Well, look,
we'll talk about it, okay?

322
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:49,435
So what you gonna?
You gonna stay or you gonna go?

323
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,481
Just take me home.

324
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,191
-Okay.
-[engine starting]

325
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,032
[Bryana screaming]

326
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:04,617
[Bernie]
What the… What's that?

327
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:05,910
[Bryana crying]

328
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,620
Hey, hey, hey, what's happening?

329
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,788
-[crying continues]
-What's going on?

330
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,958
[crying] I had a scary dream.

331
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,587
Oh, baby girl, you just had a nightmare.
Go back to sleep.

332
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:18,714
Come on now.

333
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:21,425
No, but you have to do
a monster search.

334
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,136
Baby girl, I ain't got no time
to do no monster search.

335
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,554
Maybe Aunt Wanda can do it.

336
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,848
Baby, read her a book
so she can go back to bed.

337
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,600
Oh, uh-uh, Bernie, I tried.

338
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:33,270
Apparently, the zombie
in the R-rated movie you took her to

339
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,440
ate the pretty Black lady,
so this is all you, baby.

340
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,817
You can snuggle up to her
to another scary movie.

341
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,446
That don't make no sense,
taking no baby to no R-rated scary movie.

342
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,031
[tearfully] I told you, America.

343
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:45,407
Conspiracy.

344
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,661
-I-- Thanks.
-[piano playing softly]

345
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:50,037
You staying at the hotel?

346
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,247
Not yet.

347
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,498
Then that'll be $7.50.

348
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,083
Uh… what?

349
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,876
$7.50.

350
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:57,795
But…

351
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:01,715
Damn.

352
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,511
I'm missing everything.

353
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:12,226
Well, I did the monster search.

354
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:14,144
Surprise, America. No monsters.

355
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,105
But could I leave? No.

356
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,441
That miserable boy told her
the monsters were invisible.

357
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,610
[falsetto] "Protect me, Uncle Bernie.
Protect me."

358
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,863
Yeah, but who protect me
from them, America?

359
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,322
That's the question.

360
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,408
I'm the one
in serious danger here,

361
00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:30,619
and if I don't get on that next flight,
I'm going to miss the main event.

362
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,746
Well, I'm going
to tell you something.

363
00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:33,831
I don't care.

364
00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:34,874
I'm going to Vegas.

365
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,750
Even if I do miss the fight,

366
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:40,337
my main man Chuy just called me and
told me there's going to be a after-party,

367
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,798
and I'll just go there
and hang with the champ, Denzel,

368
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,717
and all the rest of them
whoever there.

369
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,135
Oh, it's still on, America.

370
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:50,347
As soon as that little
pigtail-wearing stinker falls asleep…

371
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,557
I'm gone.

372
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,688
Where are you going?

373
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:00,774
Baby girl, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just switching butt cheeks.

374
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,819
Oh, Uncle Bernie,
my shoulder hurts.

375
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,155
All right, I'll get you
some more medicine.

376
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,115
But the monster will get us.

377
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:11,118
Oh, oh, baby girl, there ain't
no monster gonna get you.

378
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:13,537
I'll tell you what.
I'll build a big force field right here

379
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:14,872
to protect you till I get back.

380
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:16,415
-Yay!
-Yay.

381
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:17,750
That's it, huh?

382
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,628
All right, just stay there
till I get back…

383
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:21,837
with your medicine.

384
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:48,572
Wow.

385
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,951
Baby girl sure do like applesauce.

386
00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:55,371
I bet if I mi…

387
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,500
Why you always got
to be watching me, America?

388
00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,795
Is there no privacy
in my own damn house?

389
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,004
You're like Big Brother.

390
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,965
-[force field humming]
-All right, here you go.

391
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,257
Here go your medicine.

392
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:08,634
Knock yourself out,

393
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,219
and I mean that literally.

394
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,179
How you doing, baby girl?
Are you okay?

395
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,848
Good. I got my force field,
and nothing can come in.

396
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,433
All right, you sure do.

397
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,519
You got your force field,
and can't nothing get in.

398
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,729
In that case,
I'll see y'all tomo…

399
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,648
Ha! Some force field.

400
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:25,317
Can't even keep out
a stupid stuffed rabbit. [chortling]

401
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,403
Uncle Bernie!

402
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:28,904
Turn over, turn over.

403
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,161
-Bernie?
-Hmm?

404
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,579
-Hey.
-Hey.

405
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,498
You've really gone all out
for the kids today.

406
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:40,749
Okay.

407
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,334
No, baby, why don't you go,

408
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,753
and if she wakes up,
I'll take care of her.

409
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,006
What? Really?

410
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,216
-Yes.
-Oh, baby…

411
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:51,552
Thank you.

412
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,934
Finally! No one can stop me now.

413
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,520
Those little ingrates don't even know
how lucky they are.

414
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,605
See, a different parent
might not care so much.

415
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,816
Would have been in Vegas hours ago.

416
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,526
Now, that's my New Year's resolution.

417
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,945
Cut out the fatty food,
care less about the kids.

418
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,238
I'm out of here.

419
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,158
Yes, sir, let me see
what's going on.

420
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,208
[woman] Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

421
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,835
At this time, the captain requests

422
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:28,630
that all cell phones, pagers,
and electronic devices be turned off.

423
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,799
[phone ringing]

424
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,301
Oh, damn.

425
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,389
Sir, I'm sorry,
but that's going to have to remain off.

426
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:39,224
I… I'll be real quick.
I got a phone call.

427
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,185
Oh, yes, it's FAA regulation.

428
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,145
Okay.

429
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:49,443
It's probably the boys calling, you know,
trying to find out where I am.

430
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,237
But what if it's not?

431
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:58,494
♪ Memories, memories ♪

432
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:02,206
♪ Sweet, sweet memories ♪

433
00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,209
♪ Of days gone by ♪

434
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,710
[imperceptible]

435
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,712
♪ That make me cry ♪

436
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:13,717
♪ Memories, memories ♪

437
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,221
♪ Sweet memories ♪

438
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,848
♪ That make me sad ♪

439
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,685
♪ They take me back ♪

440
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:27,689
♪ To you ♪

441
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,455
The problem is…

442
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,375
I do care about them.

443
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:48,752
Damn.

444
00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:50,879
America, I love them.

445
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,736
[yawning]

446
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:21,910
Hey, baby girl.

447
00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,955
Looks like we made it, huh?

448
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,540
It's light out now.

449
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:28,792
You'll be all right.

450
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,378
[groaning]

451
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,264
Uncle Bernie?

452
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:45,851
And I love you, too.

453
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:51,607
[chuckles softly]

454
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,358
Nessa.

455
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,946
You used my phone yesterday,
didn't you?

456
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,823
You're waking me up
to yell at me?

457
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:03,452
You got a message on my phone
from some girl named Donna.

458
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,079
And then Todd got on the phone
and started talking.

459
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:07,915
What did he say?

460
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,293
Well, he said that he wondered
why you wasn't at the party,

461
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,212
and that he's seen you
in school, you know.

462
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,504
Well, how did he say it?

463
00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:19,885
The boy like you, okay?

464
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,514
Now, go on back to bed.

465
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,605
America, this whole time

466
00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:34,107
I thought my fight was with those kids,
but it wasn't.

467
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,068
It was with myself.

468
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:38,278
Between the part of me
that wants to enjoy myself

469
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:41,198
with no strings,
and the part that's a good parent.

470
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,700
See, America,
personal growth and maturity

471
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,826
can be irritating as hell.

472
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,245
Oh, yeah, I know.

473
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:49,748
But did you see the look in baby girl eyes
when she saw me sitting there?

474
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,209
Or the smile on Nessa face just then?

475
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,794
Now, I don't know if I enjoy it

476
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:56,088
as much as seeing Hudson
beat the tar out of Turner,

477
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:57,464
but it's close.

478
00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:58,715
Real close.

479
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:08,517
Oh, baby, baby, baby.

480
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,228
Mmm. Honey, you're home early.

481
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,396
Mm-hmm.

482
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,231
How was the fight?

483
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:16,024
The best man won.

484
00:21:20,737 --> 00:21:22,739
[playing bluesy tune]

485
00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:31,206
Uh-huh.

486
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:46,930
Little Richard.

487
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:50,726
-[director] And cut!
-[laughing]